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Mademoiselle Cochon

Uma mente perturbada?

 

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saumensch

O inverso do perverso.

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Posts

sábado, 7 de fevereiro de 2009

Letter From My Pain
I'm not quite sure of what I'm spoused to do, or what I'm spoused to think. That mass in my mind is getting me and I don't know what I can do. Once you told me not to cry. But also you said that you'd be there for anything. That you'll never deny me if I ask for help... I just question myself if you'd deny if the problem in what I ask was because of you; specially in you running away from me, or what it looks like.
That's right I can't control you. Even if I wanted the most I wouldn't do it 'cause I wanted you to call me by yourself. I'm not the kind to have proud of yourself... But I'm also not the kind to beg dawn on knees for a chance or a hug.
I wanted to be strong and I thought I could do it. I thought that stronger people don't feel mess on their minds or loneliness in their hearts. I don't know if I was stronger or I just felt like one; in any case I didn't feel any better. I just felt more and more alone. Is that true? Strong people have this uncontrollable feeling of loneliness? This pain in their backs and the cold in their eyes? That's not the kind of strong I imagined to myself.
I'm cold. Am I alone? I don't want to beg to not feel alone. But I also don't want to stay one week waiting for you wanting to see me once or twice. That's the kind of thing that hurt the most!
I know you're not in your better times... I even want you to do something about this. I just wanted you to know but I felt really ashamed of myself telling you. That's because I'm writing in English. And that's why I'm not speaking with you face to face. There's no courage.
Yeah, I'm afraid.

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Postado por saumensch - 1 comments